Big school and many big changes…

I have been away a very long time… too long and have missed out writing on so many things that have happened. I really sometimes wonder why I just fall off the radar when this gives me so much joy and peace! Well, let bygones be bygones…

Many a things have happened, the new year started (! – yes been away for half already!), houses changed and yup, the BIGGEST of it all… our little man is not little any more, he is part of BIG school. He started two months back and boy were we anxious (!) but he has turned a new leaf, all thanks for Green Pocket. That experience has changed my little boy into a little brave boy ready to take on new experiences, explore, be comfortable in his own skin and last but not least given his hyped parents the calmness we so needed! Thank you Green Pocket, if only we can send him back and then back again.

Now coming back to big school – I still shake myself a bit or more like pinch myself when I find him getting up early (7 am) so that he can catch the school bus!  That’s his incentive… touch wood. He is loving it there (again, touch wood) and I feel it is like an extension of Green Pocket which means my little boy is ready to take on new experiences, have fun, come home and share it with his fan club and so on.

Life has changed but it is all worth it. We moved into a new home which is suiting us. Families have extended for the better and life seems like it always has been… “Happy Happy face” … can’t ask for more.



Until words find me again…

I find my self struggling to write nowadays! It is not as if things are not happening, or there are new things we experience and I should keep… it is all of this, yet, I am struggling… So I leave myself pictures and notes on them which I don’t want my fading memory to forget. Until words find me again…. There is a new craze in this house… or may I say, there are two new crazes – golf (which I don’t have a picture off) and grilling.  I happened to gift Hanu a grill on our anniversary and trust me, nothing takes over our weekend than getting the fish/prawn/chicken ready and marinated, the fire burning with camphor, petrol, coal, paper, wood…(so we get the picture) and ready to grill. As I write this, my entire family has gone our on a rainy Sunday evening in search of coal. So you see, anything that is done is either done in totality or not at all… This one is in totality. But hey, who is complaining, I get the most awesome grills every weekend in the comfort of my own home.  Now coming to Golf. Its Hanu alone. The man has passion for everything he does. Something I admire and lack in myself. So we have two golf sets at home, shoes to match, caps to match and many balls along with rungs that have almost become tatters in the house. Why? Because our man likes to practice. I am sure to write more about it in the future. Just to add the awww factor: Panu to his betu “Betu, you no place the golf course!” Translated to normal language “Papa, stop practicing at home with your golf stick” Happy 6th Anniversary to us! There is a reason why I have put this particular picture. Its us and only us! But when we are there he can’t be far away…. right! He is there somewhere in the background. Represented by his dahi chawal, which we obviously have done a lousy job to finish and given up after trying the nth time. Its a moment we take for ourselves, without being his parents, but being what ever we are for each other. It is needless to say, that it has been an amazing 11 years together. As time passes by and I look through old snaps, and the newer ones, I notice that this hasn’t changed. the glee in our eyes, the togetherness, the love, the warmth… it is still US, as it always will be. (With the little ones around!) My Ma! The one constant always… There are no words for her, except, I love the way she radiates in everything she does.  The perfect harmony.  Have a hap, hap, happy diwali! May good luck and cheer be yours all the year!  The edited version customized by nanta for panu took a life of itself! It is a beautiful adaptation. 

I guess words did find me… after all with a little help!











Pictures say a thousand words…

I’ve been meaning to write  about this trip for a long time and haven’t really. It was an experience that I feel cannot really be translated but only felt… here it is!

One more reason that reinforces our choice that the best possible way to travel is always by road (even with what happened after this!)… when else will you look out of the window not knowing what to expect! And there it is…. sunflowers everywhere… looking for the sun to rise again. This was the first time we saw so many of them.. a good beginning for my small sweetheart!

Where else in the world would we find a motorcycle taxi stand! Now that’s why we want to retire in Goa! Need we give any more reasons…

It is blessings in these forms that are so missed!  My panu’s nanis… and our mommies.

The most lovely boy in the whole wide world. I wish my panu becomes my hanu. BTW, we loved the bhutta and the drive.

Yeh galiya…. want to go back. Magical Goa!

All that I need… my boys and the beach! Yes, I have converted to a beach person…

What fun! And of course he is the centre of every bit of it.

This is the first photograph that has my Panu look straight into the camera and gave a big big smile! Wah!

It is the same feeling… 🙂

The craziness skipped a generation 🙂 The mad nanta and her pakpak!

Pals for 30+ years!

Titos at Baga Beach. Baga beach was by far Panu’s favourite. It actually enticed us enough to extend an extra day.. Worth it!

(Missing my pose here with the perpetual spoon)

We want him to be always like this… carefree! While mamma and papa are somewhere in the background overseeing everything to make this feeling possible.

Until next time Goa…



Fabia……….fab fab :)

The Fabia has ultimately arrived and all that I can say is smooooooootttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😉

It was such a different way or feeling of picking up this car vs. Airy 5 years back. Different and nice because we had the little master with us going beserk with his favourite thing – CARS and that too in abundance. So while the father went about clearing paper work, the small wonder went about opening doors, to circling steering wheels, to charming the pants off all the sales folks at the showroom. He went on saying “Kiska car, nahi Fabia car hai”  and we repeated “Panu ka, aur kiska” 🙂

It was a wonderful, nervous feeling… nervous because it’s a big step for us as a family and wonderful for obvious reasons… Driving it around the town for the first time, I think I was more nervous. But I am sure this too will soothe soon. We zipped it off for a long drive and I don’t think I have seen Hanu this happy ever in a car… he looked so at peace.

So here’s to many long drives, stories, experiences, feelings, adventures, road trips and nooks waiting for us to disover with the FABIA.

The pose never changes 🙂


Papa and his betu

I don’t think I have ever written about the kind of father I wanted for myself. Growing up was always difficult without a real dad. I say real because I didn’t have an emotional dad at all. Sure he was there to provide the money for our upbringing (that too giving a lot of trouble to my mom) and feel proud that his daughter was doing well at school, but to put things into perspective and actually feel the gravity of my feelings, I’ll only say that I don’t have a single caring, lovely memory of my dad while I was growing up. He was not there for me as a true parent should be. So this made me always wonder how I would feel to have a  real  dad. One who would dote on me, drool on everything I say, share my fears, anxiety, team up with against my mother, etc, etc… I knew I would not have it ever….

When Hanu and I were dating I remember he made a comment about a baby, he must have been 4 yrs old sitting at the back of a bike. He said  “His dad should not let him sit at the back but in front of his”, I just smiled and said “You know you’ll make a wonderful father some day”. Little did I know he would be the father of our child. Now Hanu is probably the most caring individual I know. He will get up and get me glass of water if he thinks I am tired, even if he is ten times more tired than I am.  He will after a hard days work press my feet and never demand or sometimes even ask for his feet to be pressed. I have to insist for doing that and then he lets me. He, simply, is the best human being I know or can aspire to be. He took care of me always…..and still does.

When Panu was concieved, I remember, Hanu would try to even outdo his earlier self. I was pampered and spoilt to the core. It of course, didn’t help that I had a difficult pregnancy. But what I am trying to say is that I somehow felt that he was the dad I never had. Now I don’t intend to sound peverse here, but he truely was and is someone who understands my deepest fears and anxiety, someone whom I can turn into a kid instantly and also someone whom I can team up with to go against my mother.

Hanu is the perfect papa to Panu. So much that it really shows in the way they interact with each other. Panu calls Hanu betu because that’s what he would hear him call him. So father and son call each other the same thing. Something on the same lines of what my mum and I call each other 🙂 It’s such a pleasure to watch them. He is caring beyond words. He is worrier when it comes to Panu, at times much more than me. I somehow am reliving my childhood through my sons with many things, but most of all of having a dad around who is a real papa.

He is just waiting for him to grow up enough so that they can do thier stuff together. I am sure that involves hoardes of sports, music, travelling, etc, etc…. it’s going to be a joy ride 🙂


Goodbye Airy…. and thank you always

When I was growing up I never imagined owing a car. I didn’t know how to cycle, so owing a bike for myself was also out of question, so basically I wasn’t ever imaging of owing a vehicle at all. Then Hanu walked into my life and opened up the world for me and still does. We comtemplated alot, whether to buy a car or look at buying a house ( rather saving for it). We decided that yes, we wanted a car and went for it. It was 2006 when we decided that we were in a position to take that step. We analysed and hanu over analysed all the cars in the market within our budget and we decided that it would a Maruti Zen Estillo – launched newly in the market with its curves/shapes defying how cars should be in that segment. So knowing us to take something which was uncommon, we went for it and bought the Zen home in Jan 2007. We was named him Airy much later on one of our road trips…. because it was just very Airy and after a doggie I knew from our trip to Masinagudi 🙂

I cannot begin to desribe the feeling we both went through. For the first time after getting together, we had invested in something so big, something, we knew would quench our thrist of getting on the raod and going anywhere………and we went. Airy took us all over South India and we also went all the way to Goa. More than anything it was the feeling of the “the first time” of anything. Our Airy gave us wings. For God’s sake I learnt how to drive in Airy, bought Panu home in it from the hospitals, went for countless no of drives….. I can go on and on. But the most important thing that Airy gave us was our space of our own. We were the two of us in it, no matter what. Even when we went out for drives with Panu, it was still a place where we could speak about anything or just be blissful in its silence. Airy was our car in the truest sense of it. It was very special so many things that I havent even written about…. Cars will come and cars will go but the feeling of Airy will always be there in our hearts. So as I told Airy today when they came to take thim – “take care, my little buddha where ever you go but remember you will always remain in our heart as our first car that gave us wings and a taste of the road… that feeling will go on forever!”

Goodbye and thank you  — Our Airy.


It’s been a very long time… let’s re-begin!

I have missed writing. I am not certain why I haven’t for such a long time, but it really doesn’t matter because so much has happened, such wonderful things that I have so much to write. It’s just a matter of getting to it. We’ll do it in phases…

The most significant is that my lil Panna has started talking! Yes, he has started repeating every single thing along with understanding how to apply the smallest of things! It has been probably the most amazing time ever since a very long time. It was as if he has stored all of this inside him and it is just bursting to come out and wow! it has… He says all animals with beautiful pronunciation, sings sare gama pa… and at times finishes what we started, counts from 1 to 10… I mean it has been the most change in him ever…ever! Phew.. so much has also happened on other things.. here they are which I just want to note and will elaborate on in times to come 🙂 (Super excited!)

1. I have learnt how to drive 🙂 Yes, my wish of whisking away when Panna grows up on long drives with just the both of us WILL happen. Also, with my darling Hanu…

2. We moved into a new home and somehow it feels right. I have used the time effectively to decorate and make the house a home where there are nooks and corners for everything. Its still taking shape but I have applied all that I have and wanted to for a long long time, at last! Of course with a lot of help from Ma, Hanu and Simple… my support system always

3. Panu has some what settled in school 🙂 Yes, he still cries but the teacher tells me that it’s for a short time only and then he plays, observes and learns… beautiful!

4. I gave an interview and some things have taken a backseat happily… more on this latter

5. We have Skype working and being used to reduce distances

6. Families are coming closer! 🙂

7. I am 30 yrs old

8. We completed a decade of being a couple… still very much in lowe!

9. We travelled like hell and grew up as a family on the way. The travelling has most importantly agreed with the small one and he loves it.

10. Still waiting for a maid 😦 My only sad face for now…

11. Loving every moment of just being!

Phew when I look back, yes a lot has happened but all so well and naturally. I didn’t realise how good life was, is…