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Happily Random

As I sit here in my freshly (actually just moved around furniture) done up sitting room, with pictures on the wall of us all…. rearranged furniture to make it look more cosy and an empty house, as the boys have gone out for a walk, I feel at peace. Maybe it’s the silence, maybe its the feeling of change or maybe its just! Its nice…. I went to the mandir room and said “hi” to GOD. Told him/them to keep us healthy and get us a good maid! I can’t believe it’s also crept into my prayers! 🙂 I walked around the empty house, ran into the verandah twice to see them leave (!) and walked around a little more not knowing what to achieve… but just walked. I miss just wandering around in the house without a purpose or an objective. Should do it more often, maybe get some more alone time where I am not worrying, or thinking what next, or just thinking random things. Yes, maybe it will come in the very near future when this maid thing is sorted out and we can focus on all the other things I planned or am wanting to do in this off time.

 I had an awesome moment today when we got up – Panu looked straight into my eyes and told me in his own style, i love you mama. He then rolled around in the bed and hugged me, gave me one huge grin and then again looked straight into my eye. I even got a blop kissi early in the morning, before even getting out of bed – These are the things that keep me going amidst the confusion of days!

 I don’t know whether its coincidence or not, but whenever Hanu travels, I land up doing stuff to the house. Last time when he was returning from his trip, mummy and I bought curtains and got them altered and arranged, all in time of his arrival. And if I go to see it, it’s always the last day of returning when I start doing this. It’s my crazy way of just welcoming his back and telling him that I missed him – furnishing and decorating! Anyways, coming back to this time which was a very very short trip – 1 night; we managed to rearrange the entire living area, put up the wonderful (it’s a beginning to   of frames and personalizing the entire space!) frames, etc etc… all in time AGAIN!! He loved it but before him I also got approval from the little prince – He enjoyed himself because we have put down a small space for him – his very own gadda, the bookshelf is more accessible for him now and he has more curves to play chuk chuk gaadi! I love redecorating…

 I sadly can’t get myself to not call the camel Senthil – its the lip thing! Oh GOD why why….

 Had a lovely outing with Ma yesterday. She amazes me with her energy and I always say touch wood!  Had a club sandwich after ages.. not as great as the ones I would have from Mocambo but it came close enough. Of course the damn umbrella had everything beeping and us being eyed as terrorists! The poor umbrella was scrutinized

 …………and well the silence has ended. They all are back and thank GOD for that! I go back to playing car car… wow!

His library 🙂

Chuk chuk gadi

in house slide..

 

 

Senthil in the background

An almost blop

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From me to you…

How is it that someone who has been with you, forever, but you still have renewed respect for each time? How is it that some one can teach you so much and keep teaching? Is there a end? Is there anyone else like Mummy….actually, my Mummy?

The answers to these questions, I will not answer, because it simply cannot be framed in sentences, at least ones that I can come up with. But one that I  can most defintely answer, is that no one is like my Mummy. If I can become even half the mother to panu, as my Mummy is to me, then I would have achieved ALL.

Ma, is someone who has been probably the one constant influence in all of my life and I wish for it to always be like this. There are no qualms about this, that I am a totally my mum’s daughter. I was always close to her – She was the first one to know about hanu, was there to stand up against all when we got married, was silently protecting my childhood, was there at every parent teachers meeting, school play/sports day…. was always always THERE! I was also always appreciative of her, I was and am her biggest supported, I know that…. But when panu came, and I became a mother, I had renewed respect for her. Not because now I knew what it took…. but because she was with me throughout. Come what may, my mum would always come to my rescue… and still does.

I did’nt know a stitch but she held my hand all the way and made me confident in what ever little I know right now. Sure.. we may have our differences sometimes, but she still remains my biggest supporter. I am writing this because it’s going to be very tough this time when she is gone. I know she has her own life and things she is dealing with… but all said and done, with all the fights 🙂 we love it when mummy is around. There is a special sense of security – it’s mummyness 🙂

Hanu & panu is going to miss her alot, but fret not, we have created such a world here that she will be back soon but not soon enough 😦

We love you ma. You know that & I know that and we have expressed gratitude towards everything you have done, will do and carry on doing. I am the woman I am because of you. You are my role model because I know what it took for you to bring us up…. Your efforts have never ever gone unnoticed.

We love you Ma.

PS: In return, you know what we want. Just one thing 🙂 Make us proud…